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Fan Self-care Question: How not to take peoples “opinon as fact”

Our fan squarkycat asks: How can I stop taking peoples opinion as fact.

Answer: When I read your question and feel into it, I can totally understand how confusing it is when you listen to others opinions, you feel uncertain and unclear of what your own ideas are.

I face this myself everyday, I have ideas of the products I would love to make and the direction I want to take The Bonbon Factory in, but others in the business always give a negative opinion, it can be really confusing and sometimes I even feel like giving up (but don’t worry I wont). Those moments I can be found with my head in my hands feeling really confused.

I actually got so confused a few days ago, that I Facetimed an old friend Out of desperation, you know one of those friends that tell you the truth straight up, who have your back no matter what. I told her what was going on for me and she listened as I told her my big story about it. You know what her advice was, Steph she said, just follow your instinct. Don’t let others opinions sway you, you must look at the reasons why you are doing what you are doing, why you started and keep to my original vision.

So I did, I went back and looked at the first products I ever made, I looked at my vision then, and something stirred in me, I got really excited and inspired. So I started writing in my journal and planning. I can tell you I am a different woman now than I was 3 days ago.

I invite you to take some time and maybe journal about how you are showing up in the world and what you want your life to look like. Some say you can divide the world into leaders and followers, I say we can all be leaders and followers, but when it comes to our lives and what we are designing them to be like it is a big big mistake to listen to others and follow blindly.

Anyway enough about me, lets get back to you. So my prescription for you is to:

  • Get serious about writing in a journey each night, have fun with it, imagine what your most fun enjoyable life would look like, a life that would please you. Start scheduling in one thing each day that is a step closer to your most enjoyable life.
  • Be like me and take your self care seriously, get on YouTube, find people who motivate you, find the thing that ticks the boxes for you and run with it, have fun and just like going to the gym you will be strengthening your self belief and getting must stronger inside.
  • Become a leader not a follower, find the thing you are good at (and the thing you find fun) and be the best at it.
  • Clean you life of people who don’t cheer you on, even if it is a family member, until you are strong enough, you don’t need them dragging you down, this is serious you only get 27,375 days on earth.. Make them count!

Before you know it, people will be coming to you and saying, omg what has happened to you? How is your life so amazing.. and you can tell them. I learnt to listen to my own heart and I took my life into my own caring hands.

That’s it, my best advice x

Stephie Peacocke – Bonbon founder, Cosmetic Chemist and Serious Self Care Addict

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